Grant’s letter

Dezember 6, 2010

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Dear Vivian,

in the last months I changed myself. I can feel it inside me and in my act. In the beginning of the whole process my aunt forced me to visit Jefferson to change his mind from a hog to a man. I was so angry because I thought no one could change him and I felt browbeaten by her, cause I am just a teacher and nothing more. Vivian I hope you understand me, I did not do that kind of teaching before. Anyway I started visiting Jefferson, just to do Miss Emma a favour. The beginning was pretty hard. He did not speak much and when he spoke it was always, that he felt like hog and he had to act like that. I did not know what I shall do. I was so desperate. Every one of my attempts to reach Jefferson’s mind failed. It made me angrier. And it made me more and more angrier, that Jefferson refused Miss Emma’s good food and her advances and that he played with me. He tried to make me guilty for his situation, but I was not guilty, I had nothing to with that, I just did it to do a favour and nothing more. But after a while I saw little changes in Jefferson. Sometimes he answered me with more than one word and looked at me instead of just gazing on the wall or out off the window. One time he told me he wants a gallon of ice cream and I promised to bring him something. At that point he smiled, not much, but it was a smile. That situation reached me quite strong, I recognized that my work changed him a little bit and I got power and hope for further more visits. From that point he offered me more and more about his wishes and past and I understood why he sometimes acted like he did. He was interested in what I talked about and I thought, that  Jefferson thought less about his death than in previous visits. I observed him some other wishes and I could feel that he was happy about that and that made myself happier. Moreover, I gave him a notebook to write down his feelings and thoughts. In the end, Paul gave me the notebook and told me, that that was Jefferson’s last wish. Jefferson changed. Paul told me he was the bravest MAN in the execution room.

I feel good because my lessons had a got result and the whites lost in that fact, that Jefferson did not die as a hog. He died as a strong MAN and I achieved Miss Emma’s wish. But on the other side I lost Jefferson. He was a friend of mine and he was a very good boy.

Kiss and love

Your Grant